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It’s time for #Blogtober!
Today begins a new month, the last quarter of the year and there’s a new season upon us. Our days begin to darken but we become lit from within, just like the twinkle of lights we start to see in decorations and displays from Halloween to Christmas. November is the month of gratitude, but October is the month for #Blogtober!
#Blogtober is a blogging challenge wherein the participants make an effort to blog every day. Yep, EVERY SINGLE DAY. That’s 31 days of making a concerted effort to focus on the blog, and boy, does mine need it!
Coming out of the dark
For a while I have been suffering some serious depression and anxiety. There were a few traumatic events I have dealt with that slowed my roll and those events triggered life changes. With it all, there has been pain and loss and times that I felt like I just couldn’t handle it all. The challenge of starting over from what remained has not been easy and my creativity has suffered a serious setback to all the emotional upheaval. I knew I was depressed. I also knew I was only hindering myself, but realized on a deeper level that I deserved to be gentle with myself. I would heal, I just had to allow myself to do so, and that only time could help that happen.
So I plowed forward. I let my adult responsibilities like work and parenting keep me focused on one day at a time and like Dory, I remembered to JUST KEEP SWIMMING.
Last week I began my annual decor change-over, wherein I put away the everyday decor and break out the fall items. Because some things are up in the air, like whether I continue living in my house or not, as I put away the everyday stuff, I took the extra steps to pack it away so it can be moved or stored in the future. As I did this, something in my state of mind began to shift. The anger I had been holding on to began to evaporate. The fog of worry lifting and the dark cloud of depression began to shift. The more I cleaned, purged and packed away, the lighter I felt and by the time I had the house redecorated for autumn, I actually felt hopeful, encouraged and ready for the new season of me.
Banishing my monsters
Depression is a monster. It comes from the deepest, darkest abyss, and sets out to pull you in, drown you, even eat you alive if you find yourself unable to fight it. Many times I have felt like it would completely sweep me under, and being able to free myself from the clutches has been a feat. It is something I have to fight daily, and I am grateful for the days when the fight isn’t so hard.
If you also suffer from depression or anxiety, I know you understand what I mean. If you don’t suffer but maybe know someone who does, hopefully my journey will help you relate better to them and what they go through. I’ll share more of that as the month goes on.
Speaking my truth
The new season of me includes getting back to who I am. I am going to take this month of #Blogtober to find my voice again. I will share about the hard things, because I finally can, and I am going to touch on issues I know others face. I would also be remiss if I didn’t touch on issues I see going on in the world around us and how I am pushing past the anger, shock and dismay of some of the things we are facing right now.
#Blogtober isn’t going to be all the hard stuff, though; we’re going to have some fun! I have food, events and travel, inspiration and silliness, too. Lifestyle pieces on family and friend relationships, tips for better broth (it is soup season, after all) and how to prep your home for fall and the holidays.
While blogging is a business, this month I am going to blog for fun. Not every article I publish will be optimized for SEO, I am not going to worry about trying to be perfect and I am not focused on the hustle. For #Blogtober, I am focusing on the release of writing. Sharing a great photo. Having a laugh or two, and wiping the tears away when they fall. This month I am going to remember why I began this blog to begin with and by the end of it, I hope to be back to myself completely.
Preparing for the month of Gratitude
All this writing for #Blogtober is going to help me purge all the things I am holding on to that is blocking me, my creativity and my growth. I am a grateful person but if I continue in the path I have been, I will lose that aspect of my personality and become a bitter old curmudgeon. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and I don’t want to go into that season of gratitude not feeling it, so #Blogtober is mostly for myself, but if you can find some hope, inspiration or even a little humor from my daily posts this month, then we both win. I hope you’ll join me for the long haul.
Let us act like the trees in autumn, and let things go. We must shed the old to prepare for the new, so join me as I jump into the pile of dead leaves and find the joy of blogging again.
Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall. – F. Scott Fitzgerald