New Year’s Day

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Damn. I slept so late today that I almost didn’t get my pot of beans on early enough. It isn’t New Year’s in the south if you don’t have black-eyed peas and collard greens for the new year. I cannot consciously continue to be a good-ole-girl without eating the proper diet of beans and greens swimming with ham hock on new years day, but no worries, I got them done, along with some good mashed ‘taters and of course, can’t have all that good southern food without a big pone of cornbread. That’s some good eating, I tell ya what. As for the rest of the day, not much of anything except a letter to the Soap Channel. Happy New Year!!!

January 1, 2010

Dear Soapnet channel,

First, I must commend you on the way you reeled me in. You snagged me with rebroadcasts of my old favorite, Another World, then you hooked me when you started showing the days episode of Days of our Lives.

For someone who has religiously set the VCR through all of Hope’s many lives, the rise (and many falls) of the Phoenix, Stefano Dimera and the oohs and ahs of John and Marlena’s long-tormented love affair throughout the 80s and 90s, and now into the tivo era, I really appreciate your thoughtfulness on providing me with my soap opera fix three times a day but it must stop now.

You lured me with my favorites, old daytime tv, sure, but after I saw a few of those, you snared me back into Melrose Place or 90210 with the triangle of Dillon, Brenda and Kelly and wondering if Donna and David will or won’t have sex. (Thank god you show more than one show a day otherwise I would be waiting YEARS for that to happen again.)

But now, you have taken me away from my duties as a wife and a mother, I must admit. While I am supposed to be using this wonderful time with no one at home as time to work in peace and get many things done (yeah, right, who do we ‘work-at-home’ fools think we are pulling the wool over whose eyes again?). But no, no words are typed, no clear thoughts are present, because I, and I do hate to admit this, am too worried about Lucas and Peyton, poor screwed up Brooke, mean Dan and teen married mom Halley to think about where my next chapter is coming from.

Seriously, they get me on mid-thought. I could have a really good one (thought that is) and suddenly it is sucked out of me like the spilled diet coke in the car floorboard with the Mr.’s ShopVac. (Thank you ShopVac God.) And as such, I must now boycott your channel. I must stay away from the draw of One Tree Hill and all other shows that you broadcast that call me to stop still with my closest basket of laundry to fold (why must it be laundry? Something so ‘soapy’ and stereotypical to it, don’t you think? Must it be LAUNDRY?….ahhh, I digress). Needless to say, your channel is now on my no-no list. Which I will make just as soon as I finish this episode…oh, wait, its back-to-back hour. Well, just as soon as Keith and Karen end up together.

Your non-productive friend,